if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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