i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
