sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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