you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
