Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
