No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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