This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
