Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
