Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize