There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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