I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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