your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
