That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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