If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
