Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
