Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Idk if I want to put a bra on
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize