when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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