Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
