I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
this will be a night to untag.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
