i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
