By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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