We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
