she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
