Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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