haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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