You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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