I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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