i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Farmville is her only friend.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize