Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Bring me that man meat
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
