he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
