I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
