She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
