Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
