so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
