Nicole vs. Life
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we're making bets on your personal life
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
