It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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