I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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