She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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