I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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