no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
