I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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