Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
