put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
