alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Couch. On fire.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
