I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
