____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were destined to go to rehab together
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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