you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
