I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
