my phone needs a breathalizer
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You are the jesus of drinking
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
