dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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