I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
