pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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