can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well you can't waste a boner
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
