Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
