Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
