NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
