CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
