is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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