i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
