i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she looked like the before picture.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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