There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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