I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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