1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Found the puke drawer
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
