I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
