There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize
